You have to learn rebellion, Sometimes.

I was born a rebellion
When I was a child I would never buy pink dolls but superheroes// I was the stubborn child of the family

And If I wanted something

They knew there was no way out of it but get it for me
I was very determinant

And so

They

Eventually

Learnt that no one comes in my way of determination
This is not my story

As much as I wanted it to be

It is not

And there is nothing much I can do about it
My story is:

I was very intimidated child

Always in fear of male figures

Always dominated by the powerful and the boys in the family
Slowly and gradually

I learnt to weep on my sufferings

To keep myself quiet

And I don’t know when that happened
I grew up to be someone

With thousands of dreams in my head

Sitting in a corner of the house

Dreaming these dreams all day
But I couldn’t face people, with those dreams on my mind

And tell them this is what I wanted

And this is what I like to be

And I got compromised
On my education

My wishes

My ideas and my dreams

I suffered in the region of that compromise

Dying every night

Climbing back to life every morning

Clenching my fists and my soul as I survived it

After living in the suffering for a longer period, one day

I realised

I can’t let my life pass like that

It needs to be changed

And so I spoke

Muttering at first

Wobbling words out of my mouth

Often producing unclear words and nasal sounds

And then,

Words started making sense

I still couldn’t raise my voice

But I was speaking

I could already feel the change

Each time I spoke

Against the wrong

For myself

I

Learnt

Rebellion

So you see

Not all of us are lucky enough to be  a born rebel

A born genius

A born professional

A born behaved

And just like you learn all these things, you learn rebellion

And as much as we can complain about that story not being ours

We cannot change that

But we can change our life stories

We can learn rebellion against all that goes wrong

We can learn rebellion against depression and self doubt

We can learn rebellion against all labels that society puts in our way of individuality …. Against all wrongs against us

….. Against keeping quiet

….. Against the story we are born with

We can learn rebellion

We can change our story.

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5 thoughts on “You have to learn rebellion, Sometimes.

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