I had totally different theme in mind, but as soon as I started writing it slipped away, completely, yes that too happens (all the time).
And as I sit here waiting for it to reappear, something else bubbled up in my mind a connection, a string attaching few of the latest happenings that took place in the surroundings and created quite a buzz.
Somedays back an article by a Pakistani girl on a very taboo topic ‘sex’ appeared on some online blog and took the internet. What made it controversial was pre-marital sex which is not encouraged even by the most liberal in our country, reason being most people following Islam and it is forbidden woth no further questions. She was met with criticism in all ways, harsh, comical, preaching, when other tried to sound humorous and cool about it. What I am going to point out is not the nature of the article, but our response towards it.
What became a buzz of internet after that was a boy who murdered her sister brutally by cutting her throat in the name of another taboo affair of our society ‘honour killing’. The act was justified by the members of the family and others in that peripherry and was portrayed as a just reaction at the part of the brother to kill his sister. This, sending a message that any brother out there could kill a sister because he is a brother.
Very next day, I saw a news about another heinous attack, a girl was burnt alive and her body was found along with the burnt vehicles on the outskirts of Abbotabad city, with no signs of murderers, thus calling for their victory. What was found in ashes? Oh that was only a girl!!
It was not completely out of the limelight and another video went viral on social media, where few men were seen harrasing women in a PTI procession, while people in response trying to portray it more as a crime of women attending such processions, or blaming the party to call women out of their houses rather than blaming men for such derogatory act.
Okay, so I was talking about the connection among all these happenings, these were all related to girls. What I am trying to evaluate is how we misinterpreted these issues, and what do we learn out of such misinterpretations.
Starting from the article by the Pakistani girl: let’s agree on the fact that while following our religion pre-marital sex is not allowed for any apparent reasons and anyone involved is a sinner be it a girl or a boy. But that is not exactly what is wrong with our reaction to the article. We read the article, we found it wrong, we criticised it. Still how does her being wrong in her perception makes us eligible enough to spread memes using her pictures, stalking her and bringing out her family pictures with all kinds of deflating remakrs? She was wrong, in performing the act, in writing about it, in calling it just, but how does that makes all of those boys any less sinner than she is? I saw no criticism of their actions apparently, but few lame jokes to defend them. Let’s just learn one thing , a sin is a sin, and those involved in the sin are sinners, and no just she being a girl doesn’t make her any less or more sinner than her male counterparts. Also, criticism of a sin is one thing, trying to make it a source of entertainment and involving their family is not justified (we are no judges of who is righteous enough and who is not jbtw). Such reactions mostly portray how little are you in your mind and thinking. Also, please let’s not keep it a taboo anymore, let’s discuss and educate our children about the right and wrong, so they are not faced with inability to decide between the two when faced with such openess of ideas and beliefs in life.
And dear those men of the society who think they own lives of women in their lives or any other women just because they are men, get over it already. It has now reached a disgusting level, where murderers are boasted because who they have killed are women, let’s acknowledge the fact that murder is a sin and there is no pride in performing one. We need to understand few things:
1. What is wrong is wrong, and your belonging to male gender doesn’t make you superior enough to be excluded from the credits of wrong doing.
2. Just because it is your perception that it is wrong doesn’t make it wrong, no wrong, no crime, no perception allows any being to acquire an authority on the other, and go murder them. You are no authority.
3. Again, we need to redefine meanings we attach to certain things, we are raising inhuman and intolerant youth.
(I don’t want to get started on the hupocrisy that prevails among the so called honoured people and the way they exploit religion).
And no it’s not PTI, it’s not PML-N, it’s not PPP, it’s not MQM, its never about the tag of the party, its you people who make these parties. For such men who think every other women out there is their prey and that women shouldn’t be attending political processions, it should be other way round instead.
Let’s not make these incidents about a political party, but about men with such mentalities who are in some faction present every where. These are the men who roam around in our cities, making it impossible for women to walk among the streets, wearing their ill doings as pride, evil light in their eyes, let’s fix them instead. And imagine people making political trolls out of such videos, what level of deflation do you really intend to achieve?
Let’s make sure that we don’t raise sons who could kill their sisters and their wives without slightest of guilt. Let’s make sure that we raise sons who know that they are not ought to do wrong to any girl, let’s just call sinner a sinner, let’s not discriminate your son who performed the same sin from someone’s daughter. Let’s teach our daughters about what is right but let’s make our sons a part of this education. Let’s not raise sons who are murderers, harrasers, rapists and molesters. Let’s not send out atrocious beings out in the society in whose presence no one feels safe. Let’s send out protectors, defenders, and bodyguards. Let’s not send them out thinking that they are boys and they are safe, let’s send out boys in the world who in their presence make this world a safer place.
And please talk to your children, be open about it, educate them, engage them in discussions about the right and wrong, and do not let them face the inability to decide between what is right and what is wrong. There is still a little hope,let’s preserve that, let’s make this world a little better than it is turning out to be.