She still cries for him not knowing at times why is she even crying. She did not want him the way she wanted him before. The desire to possess him is no longer there. But saying him goodbye seems the most hardest of decisions even today. And she felt that all these hardships in her life were pouring her off of her emotions. She has been through so much pain that she has stopped feeling anything at all. She dreaded depression,she dreaded pain but to her shock even joy she was not feeling either of these while faced with the most dreaded and horrible happenings of her life. And you see this is what life and people do,they drain you off of all your energies and feelings. And you are left with a thought rather an urge to feel,though bad it be.